Question

My Question is huge... it covers, basically, culture.
Institutions, understanding, expectations and experience, identity, subversion, cultural norms and shifts, interactions between people and people, people and art, people and their environment, people and ideas. Change. Stagnation. Balance.

So after the about eighth conversation this year with Brian, in which all conversations have pretty much been the same... Basically I get really excited every time about my Question because I've learned so much more and there are so many more connections since the last time that we talked. And then Brian say it's all very good and he sees how it connects, and it has a lot to do with what I've been talking about in past sessions, but I should focus things a bit more, get an example of some sort to really grab on to so I can learn more about how these things work.

In Question block I've been looking both behind and ahead, and realizing how little time I have left at Quest. And, in a sense, how much it doesn't matter what my Question is. I mean, I'm interested in so many things that I could pick any one out of the multitude, and most of them would have to do with my Question cause I can synthesize like that. So this time we had that conversation and I realized how silly I've been, and I mobilized.

So I wrote down a list of things I'd be interested in exploring, material themed like one block or one class. I started making this list which included native north and/or central american culture, education, scientific paradigm shifts, poetry, graffiti, philosophical novels?, spiritual meditation, prayer, history/styles of architecture, creation myths... then I thought about personal myths. Or rather, something along the lines of how art (maybe even stories) can be used to heal and develop an individual.

And after having focused on how to use art and stories to heal the individual (and how that connects to the community), I feel like I'm flying! (but maybe that's just the product of "having a new Question" and getting all excited about the possibilities.)

Well on Wednesday night there was a queer conversation, trying to see whether people should try to set up a queer community, what needs are not being met, etc. And one of the things that came up was to have a circle, like a group therapy where confidentiality and respect are paramount and where people can just talk or listen, just be as they wish. And that sometimes, even just listening to someone else tell their story can strike chords within yourself; allowing yourself to feel whatever it is can help you deal with it.

The way I see it, the same thing is happening for the queer "community" as it is for the international "community". There was this whole hubub around the movie that Hassan, Evon, and Dimi made for their final film project. They actually aren't allowed to show the film outside of that film festival and in their own portfolios. It has some funny dynamics, where at some points the what the school is saying and what some international students are saying are totally different. And apparently someone from our class got quite offended by the movie because it seemed like the international students were trying to divide themselves off from the rest of Quest. Which I think is bullshit, because anyone who's been a foreigner living in a different language and culture for a significant period of time can understand the 'troubles' that come with that territory. I think that's just the product of someone who doesn't understand. And actually, the movie probably brought the community together a bit. I made a point of visiting a couple of my (international) friends to thank them for being here and to just let them know that I would love to talk to them about these sorts of things, or about their culture. And I mean, I'm always fascinated by different languages.

Also, Jaimie and I want to do an experiential learning this next semester to set up a support network (involving crisis phone lines and a safe space). These two issues of contention, as well as other issues of just counseling and people with problems who don't know where to turn or how to deal with things because everyone's on the block. As Jonathan Warner (my tutor for Question block) put it, at other universities you have this mask of, "Of course I get excellent marks, and I don't put any work into it". Here there really is a culture of nerdiness, getting really into your work, discussing with classmates after class, or over lunch, or explaining to others who aren't in class, or writing songs about class, or making art for it. However, there is always this mask of "I'm working hard and I'm doing well doing well, thank you", even when you're not doing well. You just gotta keep going cause the blocks are so intense. Which is cool, until something big hits you. And then everything slips.

And we were talking about these issues and things that came up were a lot of what I had been thinking about more abstractly: institutions, renewal, creativity, expression, individuality, needs being or not being met, gaps, etc. In a sense I'm not sure that that proposed question up there is QUITE it, but I also am very encouraged by seeing that these ideas are put into a concrete and real context. It's like the seeing those ideas in the context, rather than trying to see some sort of context in the ideas. I feel like that might be a sign that I'm closer along the right path!